The last letter=

Whenever I decided to blog these days, it's always so heart-aching to know that I'm not blogging anything happy. I am under no illusions about their motives of acting that way.

It hurts when I catch a glimpse of you all, it hurts more when our eyes met,  it hurts even more that we're all pretending and it hurts the most when I have to brave myself to struggle the flood of tears inside. If she's the one you wanna trust because she speaks, then you're unworthy for me to have you beside as someone who can share the ups and down in my life. That's why I chose to not even defend when I knew things are getting worse. I thought you believed in me, and the disappointment is too much I don't even bother to defend.

At least, I have a new 'them' who chose to bring me into a different life, getting me exposed to a wider network of friends instead of sticking to the same people who well, treat fun as their priorities.

If you all ever bump into my blog, please take a note/remember that, 

Thank you for not defending for me. You all went for someone. 

I'll always remember this. 

Now you know it hurts, that much.
And one day I texted her, if I'm not talking to you anymore, will you approach to me and ask me why? 
You didn't and failed me. (:

Don't worry, although I'll remember it always, still it's not in a revengeful way.

This matter will never and no long trigger my anger.

Most importantly, truly from my heart, that I'll not struggle inside, to fight back, to pretend or to be afraid of seeing the presence of everyone of you together because after typing this last letter to you all and posting it to facebook, I know I'm fine with everything and prepared to join the others who at my point of view are much realistic and mature to get me back up on track. 

Farewell, friends. (: Don't worry, we still talk but don't feel too relieved cause it means that I don't want to care anymore. I'm sorry but that's it.
If one day, I cry in front of you, no worries, it surely means everything has come to an end.  

Oh yeah, outsiders, I'm sorry if the posts below offended you because I used the 'F' word.
But to the one who ruined things, I'm telling you that, yes i dislike you. I just don't wanna say the word 'hate'.